Let’s get deep for a second. Life. (pretty deep right). Life is the oddest, strangest, yet most habitual and standard thing. It has this facade that lets you actually believe you are in control of the path you are on. It has a way of making you feel that every reaction you experience is due to some action you’ve previously emitted. And while that is true to some extent. I believe it goes way beyond these physical acts. Whether it’s the vibes, thoughts, hopes or dreams you put out into the universe they all have a way of ‘boomeranging’ right back to you. And the second we drop our guard and fall Fragile (even for only a second) we can truly appreciate the mesmerizing strength of the universe.

A program that is meant to turn me into a lean, mean, killing machine has already begun to open me up and allow me to appreciate the vulnerable, humane side of myself that honestly, I haven’t actually acknowledged before. And admitting that is possibly one of the scariest things, but hey ‘when in Rome’ right? It’s something that this series must be teaching me in some, weird, metaphorical way. Learning to “trust the process” is something so foreign to me (being the control freak I am) but slowly and surely I am learning and growing.

Navigating my way through the horror house of thoughts, doubts, fears is giving me a new-found perspective and way of life. I get so swept up in the frantic culture of work, uni, training, life, that I excuse myself from emotions, or dark, devious thoughts (ain’t nobody got time for that). But this last week; off from training, uni, work, has allowed me to be alone with my thoughts, and its such a surreal feeling. The ups, downs, twists and turns my head goes through in a matter of seconds is crazy, but once I sit, acknowledge and process the thoughts, a wave of calm comes over me. That moment of “weakness” has the most empowering effect as it allows me to see a true strength. Being able to sit, alone and in the dark and open the closet to finally face the monster (as Coach Mick would say) has an absolute serenity and provides a satisfaction that can only come from such an unguarded place.

And although this week has probably been one of the toughest to date. It truly came at the right time in this journey. Taking a step back from everything, threw me in the deep end, but I found my way out and feel so much stronger for it. And when I got the call on Thursday confirming my spot in fight camp, I couldn’t have felt more pumped and f***ing excited for the weeks to come…

*****

Disclaimer, everything I am saying right now, will probably feel like the furthest thing from the truth in a few weeks time. But hey, what do you expect from someone who’s getting hit in the head for the next 10 weeks 😛

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Oh and for all of those that only read this to stay updated with the training, it has been fab! Week 10 was full of outdoor adventures and it’s safe to say they were my favourite sessions to date, despite the fact I’m still finding sand everywhere! And I mean everywhere….. I’ve just had a week off, which has got me itching and scratching to get back on the mats meaning Monday the 19th, the beginning of Fight Camp, can’t come quick enough.

So that’s it for now. Thanks for reading. And until next time, I’m out!img_9995

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